It Is Always Better to Love

A Readers Response Lens on Call Me by Your Name 

Every part of love is something to be remembered. Something not to be wasted. To be honored. One may say the beauty of touch falls so closely to that of love and all it makes us feel. To be embodied by someone else’s loving touch and to understand it’s true capacity on our emotional growth and mind is exponentially grand. However, it goes beyond the state of physical and we may be taught to understand such a journey through André Aciman novel “Call Me by Your Name”. The novel is set in 1983 in northern Italy, involving a 17 year old boy named Elio and 24 year old Oliver who is a graduate student coming to spend the summer assisting Elio’s father an archeology professor. The two boys develop a friendship but growing feelings take the novel into a young seemingly forbidden love story. While readers witness a coming of age story their emotional reaction emphasizes their relation and understanding of the boys relationship. Readers like myself dip into their own experiences in order to connect to such a heartfelt story as Aciman’s. One may begin to research their own memories on the ambiguity of intimacy and love. Yet each reader is inclined to their own subjectivity as their own ideals of love come into play and they may compare it to the concepts explored by Elio and Oliver. Elio is confused by his sexuality as it is not defined and he explores relations with one of his girlfriends whilst muddling over what he feels for Oliver. One of the books most famous lines are “Is it better to speak or to die?” In the novels case Elio is afraid to act on his feelings however he eventually confesses them to Oliver and their passionate relationship begins. While the reader may continue to ponder the question themselves and wonder if they would be brave enough to speak on their true intentions. Elio and Oliver experience an intense love that while involves nights of intimacy, also involve the understanding of one another and to be called by each other’s name. Linking the two boys as one another’s lost halves, finally found and at peace in each other’s company. The story does break the readers hearts as it eventually ends in a painfully emotional heartbreak on Elio’s end as Oliver marries a woman. Confiding in his father Elio is told “to feel nothing as to not feel anything -what a waste!” meaning his love was worth the pain because the experiences will continue to live on and be honored in his memory. “Call Me by Your Name” is a temporality as the moments in the novel also exist today. Where lovers find each other and experience intense journeys that may end harmoniously or end as Elio and Oliver’s did. As a reader myself I am subjective to my own thoughts but a major idea I would take away is that it is always better to experience love and all it’s intertwined emotions than to never have felt anything at all.